Sunday, December 6, 2009

You're a mean one

Why is it that the Christmas season in Belgium is Christmas, interrupted?

Right now, there are about 30 small Christmas trees and 2 large ones in and around Antwerpen Centraal train station, and only half of them are decorated. They have been up for a week, and some lazy tree trimmer even left the lights dangling off one of the big trees halfway up, like he was interrupted mid-trim, and then forgot to come back. He can't even use the two past weeks of constant rain as an excuse, because half of the undecorated trees are inside. Shame on you, Mr. Antwerp tree trimmer! There are small children just waiting for the decorations to go up, and you are off drinking hot wine somewhere! You're as cuddly as a cactus, and you're as charming as an eel!

Not only that, every time I try to visit the Christmas market in Antwerp, it's closed up. This could possibly be because I work normal working hours, which tends to exclude you from a lot of things in Belgium. So, I decided to go to the market in Brussels today instead, and could only find 20 of the 240 stands the website claims were up there, and nary a sign of the ice skating rink. However I did find a totally unnecessary light show in the Grand Place. There were a lot of tourists taking pictures, but I think they were as confused as I was.

Mr. Brussels market planning guy, you could have made so much more money off me today than you did! Your heart is filled with unwashed socks!

Believe it or not, today I met someone even worse of a Grinch than the lazy tree trimmer and the poor market planner. He was in disguise of a middle aged businessman, and got escorted off the train by SNCB security guards because he forcibly pushed small children out of the way trying to get on. On Sinterklaas day! Sir, given the choice between you and a seasick crocodile, I'd take the crocodile.

Let's hope someone in Whoville invites these guys to a feast of roast beast soon, the world has enough people with their hearts two sizes too small...

3 comments:

pinolona said...

going to the Christmas Market tonight, will let you know if it looks a bit more complete :)

Otherwise, there's one at the Military Academy (very near to chez moi :)) but it's mid-week, next Wednesday.

Raf said...

I was hired as the official Antwerp Tree Trimmer and I think you should show some more respect for me working 9/5 24 hours straight through this tough job! Do you think I get paid for this? That the city actually told me where all the christmas trees in Antwerp are located?? That the city pays for all the lights and decorations for the trees??? So SSO REE for running out of money to decorate.

to everyone: if you see an empty christmas tree in antwerp, please leave me a note in the very special post on my english fishblog

*donations are well appreciated* check Goliath National Bank for more info

fact: chili tomorrow

Tim said...

I think you're forgetting about what a distant place in the world Belgium really is. We need to import all our Christmas decorations from China, and as we all know the China shipping lanes are being terrorized by pirates. If the decorations eventually make it to the Central Christmas Decoration Bureau of the Great Nation of Belgium (CCDBGNB), they have to be allocated to places where they are most needed. Brussels obviously deserves more decoration than Antwerp, since Brussels gets visiting tourists. We always try to astonish tourists visiting Brussels with an amazing futuristic light show accompanied by dance-remakes of traditional Christmas songs. Japanese tourists think this is excentric and appreciate us for it. Afterwards they come to Antwerp and are still shocked by our extravagance, so they buy overpriced designer clothes there from the Antwerp Designer scene. That is how Belgium makes money. That is the ONLY way Belgium makes money.

The fact that the poorly decorated Christmas trees in Antwerp spread very little joy is of minor concern to the City of Antwerp Administration (CAA). Frankly, they don't care whether people are happy or not, so they make people vote against a bridge that can solve the traffic problems. That is what poor communication can do, and poor communication is what the CAA delivers, even though the Big Chief of Antwerp (BCA) is a former marketing guy.

Therefore I am glad that we got a reaction from the Antwerp Tree Trimmer (ATT) since we now all know that he not only receives no gratitude for the work he has done, but also no money. I feel like the situation is starting to get dangerously out of control and demand that the parliament looks into the matter as soon as possible. That is why we also start a petition to demand the leaders of this glorious country to take their responsibility. This petition can be signed in the very special post on the english fishblog.

If you love Antwerp like we do, please make sure that the right people are brought to justice, and sign our petition!

http://timzijnvisseninantwerpen.blogspot.com/2009/12/very-special-christmas-post.html