Well. I have some news for you.
So, I've now officially been an illegal immigrant in Belgium for a full week. (I feel for you, Elian.)
It's not that I dislike living on the edge - in fact, I love it! Just ask those of you in the know about my semi-legal status in Poland. But this time, I am not illegal by choice and convenience. I am illegal because the Antwerp registration office has lost all of my paperwork not once, but twice.
Here's the deal for newbies to the Alice-in-Wonderland rabbit hole that is European immigration policy. Everyone gets a three month visa when they arrive, which is supposed to be plenty of time to get a residence card. This card is important because it allows you to travel outside of the country (the visas are single entry).
I applied for the card within hours of my arrival on May 11th. The registration office assures me that "it's normal" that my paperwork was lost and that I will have to wait until October to be registered because "we are on vacation."
Unfortunately, I can't use my normal tactics from America to get what I want - that is, asking to speak to the manager and yelling at someone until I get free stuff. (Customer service, baby.)
So, I'm trying to be creative with some alternative solutions. Any other bright ideas y'all can think of?
- Kidnap the mean registration lady's bicycle (Belgians LOVE bicycles). Cut out magazine letters and make a ransom note. Price for return: one registration card.
- Call them using a disguised voice machine and tell them "Mijn noncle Salvatore langskommen met en paar zware jongens" if they don't give me my card.
- Call up my BFF Jean Claude, better known as "The muscles from Brussels", to show 'em what's up. It might involve a roundhouse kick to the face, but that's just guessin'.
4 comments:
haha that post was hilarious!!
I can't believe they've lost your papers twice. They're pushing it, really!
They're on vacation until October, I'm not really surprised. Hence my non-attempt at getting further into the process haha Technically I've been here illegally (according to Belgian law) for the past 2 months (and counting) (but I'm legal in other parts of Europe so it's ok haha)
Just keep a couple of 50s in your pocket, in case you encounter a cop ;)
oh, and by the way, I'm sorry that you have to be an illegal now. Not cool if you want to travel around. Really. I don't think anything's gonna happen but still, it kinda sucks (makes for a nice story though!)
Katy, I've been illegal in Poland also (just for awhile). So I really know how it feels. Living on the razors edge! :)
I'd just call the police and ask them to make things right again..
Update! My local police lady felt sorry for me and harassed the registration people on my behalf. I might have it in about two months! (If they don't lose it again between now and October)
Someone's getting an anonymous bouquet of donuts :)
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